A Day in the Life of my Kitten
written February 15, 2008
It's nine o'clock Friday morning. Stephanie just came by to pick up our little cat, Misty, to get her fixed and to live with her from now on. Misty put up a pretty big fight when we tried to put her in the crate for transport. Every time Stephanie made a sudden move or either of us touched the crate, she hid. Misty knew something was up and she didn't want to leave me. I think that maybe, just maybe, if I remember correctly, I could have possibly shed a small tear before she left. If so, I think that makes me a bitch. Whatever, I loved the little fucker.
Here's an hour in the life of my little white kitten, Misty:
8:00 am: It's getting late, I think I'll jump on Marshall's chest and meow incessantly.
8:03 am: Marhsall's mad at me and I can't figure out why. Oh look, something's moving on the other side of the room. I should investigate.
8:13 am: (After tearing around the apartment for ten minutes straight, knocking over a chair, scratching the carpet in four different spots, and meowing at a mark on the wall until realizing it is indeed not going to come down...) I've made enough noise for one morning. What's that? Something else moved, I must investigate.
8:15 am: Nap time
8:20 am: All that exercise and sleep sure makes me have to poop. Oh look, a box with sand in it, how convenient! Fuck that, I'll use the bathtub. *Shits in bathtub.*
8:21 am: (After shitting in the bathtub and playing with it.) I think it's about time to jump on Marshall's chest and meow for no apparent reason again. This time I'll try to wake him up with the trusty ass-in-face maneuver.
8:22 am: Ok, so apparently Marshall's going to be in a bad mood again this morning. I get on top of him and put my ass in his face, but he still keeps pushing me away. I just don't understand what his problem is. I'll try again in five minutes...
8:27 am: Marshall finally got up and did his morning yell. It must really be irritating to wake up knowing you have to go to work everyday, but I know if I keep putting my ass in his face he'll eventually cheer up.
8:28 am: Nap time.
8:35 am: This spot sucks. *Walks in circles. Finally lays down in the same spot, but facing the opposite direction.* Ahh, this spot is much better.
8:45 am: *Let's out the tiniest, squeakiest meow in half consciousness.* Jeez, Marshall sure is making a lot of noise. I wish he would quiet down so I could get my beauty rest. *Blinks slowly and falls back asleep.*
8:55 am: (I turn on my laptop.) WHAT'S THAT?! Oh my God, lights! Noises! I have to see what's going on! *Runs over to me and sits directly between me and my laptop.* What is this little pointy thing that keeps moving all over the screen? I'm going to try to catch it. Damn, it keeps moving.... I will not give up!
9:00 am: (I throw her off the table) Apparently Marshall doesn't want me to catch the little white pointy thing on his machine. Oh well, I was due for more beauty sleep anyway. Let's see... Ahh, these two dirty socks look like a cozy bed. No wait, there are his boxers, even better! *Lays down on dirty boxers.*
Sooooo yeah... did I mention I'm a bitch? Fuck you.
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