Desperate for Attention on Facebook
written May 15, 2008
Facebook is proof that people are dying to showcase their stupidity and will jump at the chance to prove it if you just give them the opportunity.
Iím sick and tired of people who put shout-outs to the deceased in their status updates.
RIP grandpa, weíre going to miss you!
RIP *stupid nick name here* We will always love you!!!
John Doe <3 12-18-1985 to 4-20-2007 <3 Friend, role model, shitty driver <3 Thanks for showing me what happens when you drink and drive Johnny, youíll never be forgotten <3 Sucker <3
I made up that last one.
I have yet to figure out why people do this. Are you seeking attention? Do you think it makes you look more sensitive? Do you think the dead person can read it? Let me answer these questions for you. Yes, no, and no. Putting a shout-out to a stiff doesnít make you look sensitive. Dedicating a line on facebook to a rotting corpse doesnít mean you love him or her any more than anybody else did. Nobodyís going to read it and think,
Wow, sheís publicly announcing that she wants her deceased friend to rest in peace. Thatís so brave and thoughtful. We read it and think more along the lines of,
Someone dies, and your first reaction is to get on facebook? What an asshole.
And in case you never got this speech when you were a kid, Iíll enlighten you further. Along with a flat line and loss of bowel control, death has some other strange side effects, like THE INABILITY TO READ. In other words, the dead person cannot see your pathetic attempt to showcase sensitivity to the 600
friends on facebook you never talk to anyway.
And one more thing, nobody gives a shit. If people reading it actually cared, they would show some sort of sentiment (e.g. with a phone call or a card, NOT by commenting on your status update - that's feigned sentiment). Most people, however, read it and think you need therapy, because youíre being so cavalier with the mention of someoneís death under the pretense of grieving through A STATUS UPDATE ON FACEBOOK.
Death is more a part of life than anything else. Youíre not special just because somebody close to you has died. Weíve all experienced it, and we all know it sucks. Thereís nothing we can do about it, and we sure as hell donít care to read about it. Grieve with people who care, like other people that were close to the departed. Donít use another personís death as a medium for attention. Itís disgusting.
- People You Should Hate
- How Not to Make Friends
- You're Unique, Just Like Everyone Else
- You Get What You Give
- The Problem with Atheists and Science